It’s Fucking University Elections Once Again Manifesto

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Now that I have your attention this was taken at the stairs near the chapel (TC)

Hello so it’s that time of the year again where funky people in funky unicolors and laminated ID’s go around the campus and shake your hands like youre some fancy important lobster-eating politician and they will make you feel like you matter in the world

And I fucking know how nobody cares about the fucking elections (because trust me, I’ve been there) and it’s not that nice. Working alongside Univ-wide projects from the beginning of this school year had me facing the council and its (very) colorful colors, as well as other minor and not-so-minor belligerents in the battlefield of petty school politics, as well as its dirty duking-out and unsaid words and bypassing information yes I’ve seen it

Nonetheless it wasn’t always the fancy ride getting there if not for the free tickets and free lunches and just that. But anyway I am totally missing my point.

I have three, no, two words for you at the formulation of this statement and because I am not afraid to be fuckign wrong (look at that misspelling so fuck you) I will leave it that. If you happen to read this and you’re from the prestigious University of San Carlos Cebu, close all tabs, pause your music, stop everything that you do and take three deep breaths before you read the fucking manifesto.

And if you agree, the only thing I will ask of you is a virtual high 5. Or a high 5 in real life.

It’s Fucking University Elections Once Again Manifesto

I, _________, a student of University of San Carlos, and I don’t care if I’m from Main or from TC or South Campus, but I am part of the fucking voting population. In the following weeks I will be haunted by smiling faces printed on banners and on my facebook feed, all eager to be remembered and voted. In the following weeks I will suffer bad name puns, alf-assed promises and the occassional handshake from that cute council candidate.

And because I am part of the University’s voting population, and in a more basic sense, am paying for my tuition (more likely my parents), I am held responsible for who I will vote this upcoming fucking elections. I should care because (1) The council can make or break school policies that seem unfair to students (2) The council can make or break a school year by what it agrees to do and how well it performs (3) The council will matter because MY FUCKING COLLEGE LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE EPIC. Fucking period.

The following I will observe over the next three weeks and until the day of election:

1. I will not fucking vote for the prettiest face on the candidate roll if my only basis is that face

2. I will not fucking vote for that attractive guy who will make my panties wet if my only basis is that face

3. I will not click that fucking vote button if I am not sure if that dude can deliver. To abstain is the lesser evil in comparison to voting an individual based on face value.

4. I will actively participate in the Grand Rallies to know more about the candidates and what they actually believe and fight for and if they will represent me.

5. I accept that 80% of the campaign is a grand marketing scheme. And with this thought in mind I shall not be shaken by funny name puns and memorable top-of-mind schemes and retention strategies as my basis for voting.

6. I will vote for friends. If they are fucking worthy to be in the council.

7. Re-electionists are dangerous. It’s either they didn’t do anything in their last term, or they did. The best thing to know is to ask. And remember. But you don’t have time so shut the fuck up

8. I will not vote because that candidate is my crush and with my vote he / she will secretly know that I voted for her and I might be the clincher that puts her into the council. Because obviously, they won’t give a shit.

9. Do your fucking part. Fucking vote. Yes, you have the right to talk shit about the council when they’re in place but fuck you for not taking part in it.

10. Do your fucking part and vote responsibly.

I, ___________________ have read the above entries for the It’s Fucking University Elections Once Again Manifesto, and is hereby to observe these entries until the end of the campaign season, and finally on the day of the elections.

Fuck you and have a nice day. Post this on your wall, tweet this, reblog, or whatever. Do whatever that matters.

Something from David Foster Wallace:

“Obviously, a real leader isn’t just somebody who has ideas you agree with, nor is it just somebody you happen to believe is a good guy. Think about it. A real leader is somebody who, because of his own particular power and charisma and example, is able to inspire people, with “inspire” being used here in a serious and non-cliché way.”

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