Rainy Afternoons

I don’t know what to talk about again. There’s not much interesting in my life right now, I’m just waiting for classes to start. I like coming to school. I’m sure I’d miss going to school when I don’t have to. It makes my brain work. Staying at home doesn’t help me as much. I might not have the time to do the stuff I’d like but my brain works for a change.

I’ve been thinking about how people know what they want to do in their lives. How do they end up there? Did they plan it with utmost attention to detail and timing? I don’t know. I makes me want to ask them. I don’t know what I want with my life right now, I’m okay, just not happy: There’s no definite direction yet. I know I have been doing a lot the past year, and I’m headed towards another bigger, busier one, but I’m not scared and I’m not appalled. Instead I’m ready (I guess) to face the stress. Hey, when the bullets rain down you can’t deflect them but you can dance in them.

I’m turning 18 and I think it’s no big deal at all, I’ve always celebrated my own birthdays in sizzles not bangs. It just feels weird for people to celebrate my birthday. I’ve never felt anything close to that for almost five years? Six years? I can’t remember. But from what I believe Birthdays are there to remind you to give back to the rest of the world. At least it makes you feel connected to the earth and the rest of humanity and how we need the same things, and how we could also provide what lacks in it.

It’s two days ahead and that’s all that’s in my head right now. It’s gonna rain sometime now, and I’m home alone so.. I gotta go crash.

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