The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

I finished The Catcher in the Rye this morning. Short book but you know why it has inspired so many people, even to the point of shooting a Beatle six times in the chest for being phony. Well yeah, if only Holden Caufield was around today he’d probably have one of those US school shooting sprees, just because phonies are everywhere. I could relate to Holden a lot, you know, being in that phase, where it’s all depressing and shit, things don’t look right at all just because. There was always a time where I was so messed up and washed out, and I tried to pull my shit together but it didn’t work out. But I took my fall into the cliff from the field of Rye, and I guess I’m here, still falling, trying to get back to the field on top of the cliff. What I’m saying is I’m crossing over to the adult side, slowly, everyday, but I don’t want to let go of my childhood.

It feels like puberty again. Being confused, have nightly attacks of depression and wishing you were someplace else, doing other things that you feel that’d make you happy. But no, that’s highly unlikely. Since the 1950’s the population of phonies had multiplied by hundreds and thousands. Because phonies fuck up every single person they meet, and because of that they become phonies too. We have no choice. Now from those smooth-looking douchebags, we’re being faced by phonies everywhere.

Phonies on TV, pretending to be smiley and all, and trying to vie product adoption and consumption, trying to promote what’s apparently good and what’s smelly and what’s nice, trying to convince people because they’re hey, I’m so handsome and hot you should use this dishwashing soap so you won’t have to scrub your utensils any more and you have more time for Facebook, or rolling around or doing shit thing, and not to mention I’m so sharp my biceps are oozing out of my white tank top sleeves. It’s like they even wash their own clothes and dishes. You know, something I’ve always fought for even when I was a kid was about beauty pageants, because beauty pageants (well at least for me) are a form of soft prostitution. I remember talking about that when I was a freshman in high school. I didn’t change a lot since then.

I want to talk about more phonies but I took a break and had lunch, now all the thoughts were gone.


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