Note to Self, 2

The last ride I take before I walk going home is on a Tricycle. You know those motorcycles with sidecars that can haul up to 8 people including the driver, yes. I have to tell you something short.

The ride costs seven pesos from the highway to our subdivision’s gate. There were several instances on my way back home that I’d pay a full ten peso coin leaving three pesos change for the driver. They don’t remember. There’s this one time when I got short of a peso, and I had to pay six pesos. I bet that gringo driver remembers me now more than ever.

My point is people always remember what you did wrong. How you lacked shit. Couldn’t take the cut. So just like me, for the most part of my life, you get the boot. People don’t remember the people who give at least the good little things in life to them in a silver platter. The people who smiles with you in the jeepney. The people who gave you an extra cut. A free pass. An initial entry. I get that a lot. Fuck you society for being such strong and stoic cynics who don’t pretend to give a shit to the world. Fucking people.

The same fucking reason why we’re blowing up this entire fucking planet. Nobody gives a shit! Nobody just gets on with their lives working, eating, sleeping, fucking, getting a job, getting a prom0tion, getting a car, looking pretty, doing less work, coffee and smokes in the CR during work hours! Is there no other life than that? We’re all hollow men! We live to die! We work to purchase life itself, when life itself is found outside the system! Yes of course we need the basics to survive but beyond that? Why are we all so preoccupied in our so-called lives, trying to cheat our neighbor in any other fucking way? Where is life? Where is the essence of living?

Everyone’s fidgeting their fucking elbows against each other and now, two thousand years from Jesus fucking Christ and we’re hurling missiles everywhere! We’re fucking fighting over the most trivial fucking things! We’re allowing the children to fucking prostate themselves to become accepted into a society to bows down to the triviality of beautifully skin-deep things! Drilling holes into the earth, fucking uprooting trees, trying to build higher, dig deeper, scale wider, value bigger; when will humanity end? We live in a fucking age of excess!

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