I’m Not Uninspired, I’m Just

I just suck at making excuses. Since my last entry which was a failed attempt at digitizing the iconic Puso of Cebu, I could not have enough time to think things through. I guess that design rush is all over me after being absent for quite some time.

Working on this. You guys check this out soon… I’ll pitch you up on this one.

Been busy with so many appointments and scheduled deadlines, of which I managed to miss some, but thank God I’m not in a corporate environment so nobody’s going to fire my ass out of some place. I can’t imagine myself in a corporate working environment, and I’d like to think myself as a free spirit, a traveller, a dreamer. Which brings me to the reason why I took up the alias Dong Quixote.

Pun intended. Dong is local jargon for a young boy.  Aside that, some few years ago I was an idealistic piece of starlight who was planted in an environment that demanded less idealism and more of pragmatism. Those teenage years of mine, all turbulent, I have written them all somewhere before. I have to live through an everyday reality that I was not good at maths, or at following rules, being consistent and all. Sounds too teenage, but true. I guess not only I but there are a lot of kids out there who have purely good intentions but are misunderstood. Dreamers don’t do well in class. They write at night and scribble in class, fall asleep. I liked skits and videos because I guess it’s where I was good at. Class plays, productions, planning. There I was, behind all that. But that wasn’t what they needed. So I struggled, failed but at some time, came to swallow my pride like a heap of salt, and it all felt a-okay. I came out fine.

Guess some things aren’t really meant for you. Maybe Sci-hi was one of those things. Three years and a quarter in, and they want out. I wasn’t cut for the job. If I grew up reading less storybooks and doing homework more, pretty sure I could’ve made the cut. If only I force-fed myself to tons of schoolwork, which of course I did otherwise, I could have saved myself some dignity after four years of total sweat. I lacked three quarters.

Enough with the sentimental talk, so I’m glad it happened. I know if some things haven’t gone their own way in highschool, I would have come out a boring, dry, idealist who lives with words and not with actions.

I was a big dreamer until reality shoveled shit in my face. I had to wake up and face the music. Life isn’t all about dreaming and ideals, and utopian society government after government, institution after institution, race after race, that we’re all trying to achieve but there is no absolute end; It only kills the purpose of existence.

And as the world today is homogenized in an influx of a million subcultures, sharing through the fiber optic wires across the vast space of the growing, breeding internet, humanity is trying to take down its problems, step by step. Younger generations should now think that we are human instead of being a sheep in a herd of a stereotyped race. We should think less of who we are against the world and start thinking about how the world and we ourselves, are just one collective body, thinking, working, believing, praying.

But just like one of many other dreamers,  the dependent society who is scared of losing itself pressures us to change. Equipping us as “Empty”, “Useless”, “Liabilities”. The dependent society should never forget that dreamers forged civilization, enlightenment and humanity itself. Our dependence on mechanism and augmentations came through as an offshoot in the search of greater knowledge. We have been mislead. We are a mislead people. Every single day, dreamers die, and turn gray.

We become good cynics.

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